N O W , L O O K H E R E !(publicistics)Chris MYRSKI, Sofia, Bulgaria, 2001 ...— — — — —
[ Remark: As far as the book is enormously big it is published here, by old habit, in small booklets amounting to about 50 (to 100) KB, containing normally from three to five papers. Here is the first portion of eight feuilletons. ] — — — — — CONTENTS OF THE SECTIONS Foreword I. For Journals II. For Newspapers III. Feuilletons IV. Others — — — — — Contents Of Section "Feuilletons" About the sunflower seeds and the people The extremal solution For reforming of Bulgarian language To contemporary Bulgarian language New laws — old policy Heads up, Bulgarians! Are you ready for the elections? Nomen est numen! (to name is to define) How to fill the treasury About the usefulness of cockroaches (scientific feuilleton) ... new feuilletons — — — — — ABOUT THE SUNFLOWER SEEDS AND THE PEOPLE So I am speaking about the sunflower seeds, about the same seeds out of which the sunflower oil is made, that has again disappeared somewhere, as well also has risen 'a little' in prices. But how is it not to disappear when it was eaten already in form of seeds, so to say! It isn't that we have not peeled seeds in totalitarian times, we have peeled them, surely, but not as totally as now. One goes to the stadium to watch football — so this isn't opera hall for to sit there peaceful and quietly — and it comes time for the seeds: one gobbles and spits, spit ant stuffs again, and from time to time one can also leave a curse for diversity. Or then to light a cigarette, or also candies, pistachios, such things. We were democratic in our behaviour in those times and each one of us made rubbish in one's own way. But now how the things stay, ah? You stand in a queue — you peel seeds, you travel in the tram — you peel seeds, you make money on the job — you gobble seeds again! Earlier only the 'swarthy Bulgarian women' sold them but now only those who have work do not sell something, yet such people become more and more less. I am travelling one of these days in a tram and what I see — each third person peels seeds. One just spit at once, another — through the window, and the 'more cultured' gather the husks in their hand and later throw them under the seat. In one word — democracy! But to me this smells a bit of totalitarianism, because if someone does not chew something then the others look at him with suspicion — id est, is he really so poor that has no money even for some seeds, and otherwise, look — has put on jeans, as if is going to a concert. I have heard some time ago to say that Europe ends where people begin to drink boza. It might be so, but it is long time when they have ceased to make good boza, for there are not many those who can afford to buy it, but with the seeds it is surely so. It as if is not so bad — why not to peel seeds 'in the basement of European House'? — but it turns out that their basements, too, were not like ours. So that, who knows, what if they will not allow us to enter even the basement? Unless the European Community, or then some fund or bank, for example, does not decide to send us some humanitarian aid, but such that it was accessible to socially weak, and could have been put in the mouth, and in addition could remove the emotional stress. Though it will not be easy this thing. Just nothing comes to my head, except what one girl friend has confided once to me, that is doesn't matter whether you will swallow it or spit it — the major thing is that it gives you pleasure — but this, maybe, was about something else. So that the democracy is a difficult thing and each demos gets it in its own way. Now, for the Bulgarian, the sunflower seeds are the major thing. And when they are such then I think, why not to build one new party, 'Party of Human Seedeaters (United)', and to raise the slogan: 'The semen above all!' — this is both uniting and reconciling, as well also apolitical? 1992, 1995 P.S. Some 20 years later it turns out that is necessary to add here one remark for the younger people, who may think that the things here are exaggerated and we eat now, and have eaten then, the same amount of sunflower seeds. Yet this is not so, because we don't eat now more seeds than in the old totalitarian years, while in those turbulent 'democratic' years we have 'gulped' them with wild passion, so that we have really eaten some decent part of sunflower oil in form of seeds. And if one asks, why was this so, then the answer is elementary: because of hunger for proteins. Although hardly one out of hundred persons was aware then what was the real cause for this phenomenon. July 2013 — — — THE EXTREMAL SOLUTION Because for every Bulgarian has become obvious, that thanks to the decision of Mr. Berov to set the price of sunflower oil to approximately 40 lv, in order to avoid that it was sold by 60 lv, it is now nowhere to be found even for 80 lv, and while the crisis is solved (via importation or in other way) its price, without whatever compensation for the citizens, will reach, most probably, 100 lv (due to the fact that this oil is product of relatively long endurance and every Bulgarian, who succeeds, can quietly hoard for an year or two ahead), it is clear that it is not necessary to discuss the 'competency' of the decision. Here we will try to prove something stronger, namely, that every other decision would have been better, in the sense that it would have allowed to an averagely taken Bulgarian to buy enough sunflower oil for personal consumption on prices lower that the current 80 lv for a liter. In mathematical language this means that the decision in question has extremal character. Firstly let us convince ourselves that we have here local maximum of silliness (resp. minimum of reasonability) for the decision. We use the well known from the secondary school course method, moving a little in both directions of the price of 40 lv, in order to see that this will lead to better decision. And really, if the price was, say, 50 lv, what is near to the normal market price, this could have forced some new and striving merchants to sell this oil even with a slight loss, in order to attract buyers, and to write the expenses, so to say, for advertising. On the other hand, if Mr. Berov has said that the price of this oil must be 30 lv a liter (and it will be sold for as much), then every Bulgarian, from the pre-school age and above, would have simply laughed at this and would have given no credit to such manipulation, and in this case this decision would have not been accepted, so that there is no need to observe it (this is equivalent to restriction from below of the price, so that the local extremum will be reached at the lower border of reasonability of 40 lv). So that, if the intervention is only in regard of the price, then 40 levs give the silliest decision. Now let us see whether there is not another way of influence. Here we can also move, either in direction of strengthening of market mechanisms, even to such extent that not at all to intervene in them, or to their lessening. In the case of increasing of market mechanisms this means weakening of the control on prices of this oil, as foodstuff of basic necessity, and it is well known that when there are no bans there is also no interest in trespassing them, i.e. when the speculation with it will not be unlawful, then it will become uninteresting and low profitable (in near future) and this variant will reduce to the next. And this next variant in this direction is exactly total non-interference by the Government, what, by prices on the international market of 600 US$ for a ton, and prices on the internal market in the majority of Western countries of about one US dollar a liter, as also by price of the dollar in Bulgaria in this period of time of 52-55 lv, would have led to some initial jumping of the price of oil to about 60 lv and subsequent setting on 50-55 lv, a thing which already has begun to happen, if there was not this decision of Mr. Berov. The last variant of weakening of market mechanisms means some way of centralized control of the amount of bought sunflower oil by everyone, i.e. a variant of introducing of a system with coupons, what would have been worse than the non-intervention, but, despite of this, if it was conducted properly, would have led to better decision than the current one (yet this, too, has not been done). With this we consider proved, assuming continuity of the decisions in a closed interval (here, of silliness), that the decision of Mr. Berov is the most silly one from all possible. Still, the situation is not so despairingly bad for Mr. Berov, for the reason that there exists also the principle ... of limitlessness of human silliness (or stupidity), which states that there are no limits for the human stupidity (on the contrary with the intellect)! Hence, for each stupid thing can be found another stupid thing that is a little bigger then our (similarly to the natural numbers, which are unlimited). If we accept that this principle is correct then the decision in question is not extremal, because there is no maximum for the stupidity (or the interval is not limited), what is a significant consolation against his slanderers. 1994 ? — — — FOR REFORMING OF BULGARIAN LANGUAGE Abstract: Here, maybe to the possible disappointment of foreign readers, we have to do with only some retelling of the feuilleton, because the cuisine of Bulgarian language is quite specific for the readers in English, and we would have been forced to explain many things with footnotes, to say nothing about the mutilation of English language. The idea in broad lines is the following: in the beginning, taking the English as model, we have to move to one grammatical gender only, which for us (as well also for other Slavonic languages) is more suitable to be the feminine one, because practically for all words we are able to build feminine nouns (and in this process are given many examples of various words, also in German language, which examples are, in one or another aspect, funny — say, you have only one bottom, but we have masculine, as well neutral, and the Russians have feminine one); from this moment onwards the narration continues in a broken 'new' language, where all nouns are of feminine gender. The next point is reduced to moving of all definite articles before the word (which by us, as also by almost all languages, yet with the exception of the Russian one, exist, but the peculiar moment is that in Bulgarian they stay at the end of the word and are concatenated with them — say, 'the table' will be something like tablela). On the third place comes simplification of all forms of verbs to just two forms, for singular and plural (where we, naturally have six forms), and, sure thing, the further narration continues in this spirit. In the end this universal feminine gender is extended not only to inanimate objects but to all (say, the man becomes also feminine — what is not so strange after all, because the word 'papa' has feminine ending but is masculine). The feuilleton ends with the slogan (in some Latinized English) 'La Bulgariana languaga — la worda etalona for la twenta firsta centura'. In principle it is possible to translate this material in English, but I have no time for such foolishness; I rather think for mutilating of the English in some way, introducing genders, more verb forms, etc., and calling this English Myrskanto, if I will live long enough to do this scientific joke (or, maybe, not exactly joke but tedious 'improvement' of the language). 1994, 1997 — — — TO CONTEMPORARY BULGARIAN LANGUAGE Abstract: This proposition can be observed as alternative to the previous. Here, too, we will limit ourselves with retelling only, because the things are significantly tied to Bulgarian language, and the narration is pretty detailed and tedious for translation. It goes about Americanization en masse of the language, that this is performed not sufficiently consecutive and that we must not only introduce here and there a pair of new words, but accept also a heap of new idioms and expressions, consecutiveness of the words, the intonation and punctuation, and this leads in the end to a humorously mutilated pseudo-Bulgarian language. This topic is very actual and it concerns all world languages, and the natural (i.e. vulgar) acceptation of new words is far from being the right method, because are taken not some learned words, as it was before with the Latin and Greek, but mostly some insignificant jargon words. 1994, 1997 — — — NEW LAWS — OLD POLICY* [ * The material sounds much in the spirit of UDF, but look at the P.S. in the end. ] Experienced people are the communists, one can not object to this! They knew quite well that if you want to take something from somebody he will resist, but when you give him — most often he takes it. And if you decide to defend him, then even with not much brains you can take from him, as is said, his mother's milk. Well, it is so, if you begin to explain to a sheep, that you intend to milk her to make yourself cheese, she will not understand you, but if you graze her for a pair of weeks, then you'll be able to milk her, and shear her, and also take away some of her children now and then for a barbecue and she will still bleat happily. The same is true also for the cows. Yet for the people a pair of weeks is not enough, but 50 years — unquestionably! So that the protection is a good thing! Quite rarely someone will tell you that he does not want to be protected, but if this happens then it will be because of pride. And when so, if one has a little of our levs in some nice banks, then why not the 'dear people' (id est the communists, for this is their common addressing of the masses) not to guaranty them to him, especially when this costs them nothing, because this, what they must give to the citizens, they will take from the companies (there is 50% protection of their investments), but there is also nothing at all to guaranty, because one takes his money from one bank and runs to another (state owned), due to the fact that the inflation is tremendous, and the dollar has lost its senses to be bought by one. So that the thing is sure and, as is said: the wolf is satiated (and who is he, ah?), and the sheep are whole! It remains only to accomplish the affair competently, like communists! It is clear that people seek protection when they are under some danger, so that it was necessary in the beginning to frighten them, right? ( And even earlier was the period of 'lulling', in order that the people were able to put their levs and hard currency in the banks, not to hide them at their homes, but this was in the previous year. ) Then there was necessary that here and there 'burst out fires'. The 'pyramids' have already 'set the mat' of many persons 'on fire', so that there sufficed quite small state intervention (of the party, or state, Bulgarian National Bank, BNB). There was, for example, one good firm, called 'Financial Trading House FTA', which has already had for 3-4 years permit for currency transactions, took money (and levs, too) in deposits, sold Government bonds, and had a number of offices through the country. One morning, though, having just awaken, the Director of BNB decided to take back its licence (because there was needed 'kindling for the fire', so to say) and after a pair of days he also did this. Not that BNB has only then found out about this firm, but then become necessary to knock it over, the more so because it offered fixed interest rate on the deposits (as it is in the 'normal' countries), not floating and tied to the basic interest rate (BIR), determined by BNB (how it is in Bulgaria), so that this served as one of the reasons for taking back of its licence. And so, 'fires burst out', somewhere some people 'burned', others were frightened and already began, in the open or tacitly, to ask for protection. The intervention from above, though, continued, because the banks hold the front. 'Now, let us see how long can they hold it?', said to themselves the communist leaders and meanwhile began to nationalize, pardon me: to 'defend the deposits of the citizens', in several banks. It was clear that there was little sense to begin with banks like 'Capital Bank', for example, where from January (and at least till August) have not changed the bank interest rates and the bank was so insignificant that people did not even know that it existed — such bank was not good for the competent politicians and specialists. Another thing was the 'Mineral Bank', for example, because it was wealthy, as also well known on the West, and the deposits there in hard currency were current, but with good interests (6-8% in an year) and they were added each three months. It is true that in the 'normal' Western countries people don't have monthly deposits (more so weekly), or they do not use them much, while their term deposits are for one, two, and three years, and for shorter periods exist current deposits, but we are also not Europe, after all! Well, we have compromised ourselves a little before the West and have closed us even more, as is said, but this was one of the purposes of the task (the communism can't vegetate by open doors to the West — it 'catches cold' — so that it was necessary to close the financial doors). Another Bank — 'First Private Bank'! Even if it was the most poor of all banks it must have been closed because the mere name of it irritated the communist ear. But it was quite prosperous and well known abroad, and, in the first place, nobody supposed that the bank of 'Ventsi', for whom have voted half of the voters of Sofia, can go bankrupt. Though, a bank more or a bank less, what of it (or 'what here some person can mean?', as has said our poet Nikola Vaptsarov) — when it is necessary for the party, there is nothing to be done! But, if all this has ended for a pair of weeks, then one could have taken this for natural disaster and soon forgotten about. Because of this was necessary that the things lasted at least a pair of months, so that other banks (without participation of the state) were set under permanent danger of closing and did not pay the people more than 30,000 lv without prior notice (how it is according to the rules), and also more than 10,000 lv (i.e. 50 US$), and even with prior notice of a whole week also was not possible to get the money (some banks gave not even 1-2 thousand levs), because the BNB has 'protected the savings' of the citizens. To say nothing about hard currency — in principle was possible to take (other banks were not declared bankrupt), but in practice came nothing from such efforts. And if somebody wanted to change a hundred of dollars for levs, because of the high interest rate (in those times 'only' 108%), he would have hardly dared to do this, because he neither could have saved his levs, nor the dollar has calmed down. For this reason they decided to close additional couple of banks. Recently — another five or six, and those banks which BNB does not close they will alone go bankrupt, for the simple reason that the banks exist if there are people or companies to credit them! But the people now don't want to give credits to the banks (unless the bank is state owned). There can't be said that in Bulgaria don't exist private banks, but they just can't survive! Well, surely this is not communism but state-monopoly capitalism (according to the old communist terminology, yet it could have been called also financial socialism (for change), or in some other way, but this is not significant. The major thing is that the people wanted to be 'protected' and put alone their head in the harness. After this comes the next protection (especially under the current prices on basic food products) — the system of coupons. The only problem is that by the contemporary copying techniques well-protected coupons would have costed quite much. ( Just imagine how more expensive will become coupons with pressed into them metal ribbons with inscription 'protection of the citizens' on them, or: 'Zhan' — from Zhan Videnov —, small lion, 'Zhan', small lion, and so on, but it is possible also to put crossed fibers, like a grid. ) The next step will be paying of the salaries in dollars, and maybe, to vote a law about the 'minimal minimal working salary', establishing that the minimal salary can't be less than one US dollar a day, what, after all, will be better than in the year 1900, for example (or maybe not?). The important thing is that the population was convinced, that it is well protected. The pensions will be corrected every month according to 'scientifically based norms' for consumption of one pensioner, which, surely, will not be enough for covering of all communal expenses for one or two rooms (not just bedrooms) flats, to say nothing about food and, God forbid, medicaments. Well, it is true that money in the banks have, in fact, the poor citizens, not the wealthy! Not the socially weak but, still, poor ones, because they have had not enough money to buy something valuable — if not 'real' estate, as it is said in English, then at least a movable one. So with his 100,000 or 200,000 levs (i.e. 500 - 1,000 US$, resp.) one can't buy even well preserved second hand passenger car, because, if he could, he would have bought himself one, instead of to keep his money in banks. To say nothing about a living apartment or half to one decare (0.05 - 0.1 hectares) land around the town. So that this 'financial slap' for the Bulgarian people was even not according to the communists, i.e. to take from the wealthy and give to the poor ones, but exactly on the contrary! But, after all, the communists are now socialists, they have centered themselves. Why not then to centralize the finances? For example, now the 'most state' bank, Bulbank', gives generally the highest interests for deposits in levs and good interests for hard currency. Similar is the situation also with 'Biochim', OBB (United Bulgarian Bank), Post Bank, even with DSK (State Saving Bank). To say nothing about Government securities, which in the beginning of October give about 450% (!) per year, and the money enter directly into the state treasury, eliminating even the state owned banks. So that around the New Year about 90% of the deposits of citizens (in levs and in hard currency) will be collected in the state banks and the operation will be finished with success and competently, where in Bulgaria will remain 4-5 state owned banks, 4-5 foreign banks (for assortment), and about ten more banks in process if liquidation. The main thing is that the people wanted to be milked, excuse me, protected! Oct 1996 P.S. This material needs some commentaries, because it is true, but also questionable, i.e. the facts given here are true and Zhan Videnov, really, has provoked bankrupts of the banks, but in order to preserve our currency, as far as this was possible, and this was the best method for stopping of inflation with our own means, and, as the people later have convinced themselves, nobody has lost his money in this banks and the periods were preserved and continued profitably (only that the invested in levs capitals were eaten by the inflation, but they would have been eaten by it in any case). Social protection of deposits exists also in some Western countries and the West takes this method of 'centralized governing' of the banks for justified, and our UDF people did not object against the law, and it is still valid. But this does not mean that such law is not socialist, and, if we are consecutive, then it should not exist in a free capitalist market (because this is blocking of the bank before the court case for insolvency, i.e. the state acts as instance above the legislature). All confusion in Bulgaria came again because of lack of coordination between the political powers, because, either was necessary to admit before the people that such rude totalitarian method was necessary (but then leave Zhan in peace and take measures for some our national money Board), or then defend till the end the freedom of market (but then not to introduce Money Board, which is obvious anti-market mechanism, but with the use of which the UDF simply washed their hands for similar rough measures later). At least was necessary to allow applying of the existing law also to similar to FTA financial houses, which have accepted deposits of the citizens, for the simply reason that for the clients they were some kind of banks. But neither the blue, nor the red, have done something similar. 2001 — — — HEADS UP, BULGARIANS! I don't understand Bulgarian people in the recent times, I'm telling you. They are not happy when necessary, but always walk with drooping head. Now, the pensioners are again discontented that the ruling will increase their pensions only with some 4-5 thousands in month. But then these are thousands, people, bons, as we also say. Has earlier some of you thought that he will see hundreds of bons in one heap, the more so each month? Neither thought, nor dreamed, and now the most daring of our dreams became reality! This is democracy in action, not like the previous demagogy of the communists, that they have always cared about the people, but the highest pension of that time was less than now one patty costs! And the people, instead of to rejoice, have drooped their heads. And they say: yeah, but when they take from you 60 bons for the central heating and also for the electricity and the water, then you money is already finished. Only that they forgot the most important thing in the world, forgot the freedom, which they have now in their disposition, but which they have not earlier! Because now, if you only want this, you can stop your central heating, switch it out, and earlier this was forbidden by the communists. Earlier they said to you that, when you live in a centrally heated home, you must pay your heating, too, like all the others, but now, with the coming of democracy, you have your own choice. Now you can choose everything: who is to govern you, and to have heating or not, and to eat cheese (or curds), and to buy yourself meat (or duck 'lantern', i.e. a skeleton with grease), and many other things. It even these duck lanterns earlier were not sold at all but now they are free everywhere. But you see that our people do not appreciate what they have, they are always discontent. The more freedoms you offer them the more discontent they become! Now, for example, you can every time pay for your medical treatment to whomever physician you want, to whom you think is the most capable, and in every hospital that you choose, whether in Bulgaria, whether even in France or in Switzerland, or where you like, while earlier you were forced to go only to those who the 'Party and Government' have chosen for you. The same also with the education — if only you have decided to give some education to your sons or daughters and you can at once do this, because the education by us is now free! But our people are again dissatisfied, because free, you see, they say, was not entirely free, it was for money, yet this is so because they don't value the most precious thing in the world. And when it is the most precious then it must also cost more than everything else! Or also the workers complain that their salaries will be raised with only about 10 percents, but they simply do not know the basic arithmetics, because this is 10 percents each month, and when we multiply them by all twelve months in the year, then we get already hundred and twenty percents! And if even this is not enough for them then let them compute the increase for, say, three years. And, besides, nobody hinders them to strike, if they want to. But well, it's of no use, they say, and don't think that the point isn't in the benefits but in the freedom! Let them go for a while to the streets, let them cry a bit, let them worm themselves, and return later cheerful and happy to their work. The strike is, in a way, a democratic happening, and this does not necessarily mean that the Government has to pay attention to it, because it has all sorts of worries. When the people have elected their rulers then they must like their Government, and when they like it then they have to listen to these persons, not like it was before, when we were commanded by various elderly persons, about whom nobody has asked us do we want to listen to them or not. And also, if you are so much dissatisfied with something than you can always go to the President and he will listen to you very attentively and with vivid interest. Only that, because there were so many who wanted to speak to him, he received only those, who felt themselves so bad that were not able to come to see him. But what is to be done, he is not a sun to warm everybody. If the President can not worm you then you can always go to some church and worm yourself there, and earlier this was not allowed (or maybe some bandit may hit you on the head, if you have just taken your salary or pension, and you will worm yourself). And what is so bad with our President — shapely, young, talented, and with charming smile, not with some hooked nose, like it was by our Bai Tosho. A real man of the people, with common blue shirt and with working hands. And, first of all, having achieved all by himself, not lowered to us from above. Earlier, in order to take some post in the Political Bureau, for example, was necessary to crouch for ten years before all party members in order to be taken in the party, then to crouch another ten years before your party bosses in order to be appointed somewhere in the ruling of some enterprise, then another more ten years to stoop before the local bosses until you come to municipal level, after another ten — to regional, and after ten more years to national level, and when you find yourself there then you will be already senile old man. And our contemporary President, if we put our hand on our heart, is young and handsome man! Or, on the other hand, if you are so jealous of him then nobody hinders you also to become President, right? The method is simple and free-to-all. In the beginning you make yourself somewhere a photo to the waist, dressed in something old (some blue shirt left from your young years in the Komsomol, if you can find such, will do quite well), then you print it in 2-3 millions of copies, adding in the upper right corner our national banner, and in the upper left — a pair of small lions, twisted like on a ring for wrestling) the more lions, the better), so that everyone could see it from afar, departing in the morning for work or returning in the evening from it. Ah, I have almost forgotten, it is necessary also to write 'This is the President' or something of the kind, so that nobody could have thought that he is 'an onion head', and this is all. When there pass, so, five-six months you will see that you will also be elected, because this is it, the real democracy, in action. Also I heard the other day in the tram how a woman complains to another one that her children have become very naughty where earlier they were not such. But surely they will not be such, dear woman, would I have told her, because they are from the new, democratic generation, and the new, it is for this reason new, that it is not old! And what is this 'earlier'? The communism was long ago rejected everywhere in the world so that we must simply scratch this time through, throw it out from our history, and compare with the 30es years of the century, for example, not with the time under our Bai Tosho. This is the right look at the time, not only to say ahh and ooh, how bad everything has now become! Because, have in the 30es existed television and video — no, they haven't; were then such passenger cars like now — no, they weren't; were then so many millionaires like now — no, there weren't; were in that time 'Coca Cola' in Bulgaria — no; or 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' — again no; and other examples. OK, say some of us, but people now have nothing to eat. Yes, but not exactly! Because, were earlier so many pasted on the streets ads about various loss of weight diets like now, or there were not, I ask them? And why should one nation want to lose weight, if not because it has eaten too much since the coming of democracy? Under the totalitarianism our people did not feel necessity to lose weight for the simple reason that they have eaten insufficiently, while now they give their eye teeth, as is said, only to be able to lose a bit of their weight. And how not to want to lose weight when our lukanka (special flat dry sausage) has emerged earlier in shops only on the eve of May Day and Ninth of September (our day of freeing from fascism, which was then our national holiday), and now is so full with all kinds of meat specialties at any time. Hence people buy them and it is full for this reason, because under the free market this, what is not demanded, is not sold. Think properly, gentlemen, not in the totalitarian way! And sometimes I hear even more bizarre things on the streets. Some people say that there have emerged also new, democratic dissidents, but this is obvious demagogy! Because a dissident may exist when there is someone to sponsor him (or her), so to say, from abroad, for in his own country he is not respected. The earlier dissidents were supported by the Western democracies, and how it has become clear now, for their own good, because they have already sat on positions of responsibility and have ceased to be dissidents any more, While the new dissidents, if there are such people, who can support them now? You think, maybe, that this is Russia, or Mongolia, or Cuba, or even China? Nobody supports them, I will tell you, and this means that they just don't exists! But there are also people who are not satisfied with the freedom of pornography, prostitution, drug addiction, and so on, yet they are unsatisfied not with these things but with the freedom at all! Because it, either exists, or does not exist, and if it exists then it can't be to have freedom of speech, for example, and not to have freedom of, say, pornography. Who thinks that this is possible, then he still thinks in the old totalitarian way, but the new time, the new order, the new laws and democratic norms of behaviour require also new relations in the society. Who does not like this — well, nobody blocks him the road to the other world! Because it is so, it can't be that the wolf was satiated and the lamb also remained whole, as all of us know. And if we so much want to speak about the old time, then where is our 'bright future', I ask you? We haven't seen it and will never see it, what means that the communists only deceived us, for to make us work for them! While now nobody forces us to work, if we want, we work, but if we do not want, then we don't work — exactly this is the freedom, ladies and gentlemen! Freedom not only on words, but freedom in reality! Earlier we were exploited compulsory, while now nobody forces us: if we want, we work for the others, but if we want, then they work for us. Everything is a question of free choice and professional abilities. The more capable live better than the others, so that if you have still not succeeded, then either you have tried not enough hard, or you are not quite able. This is the situation, because everybody is alone 'smith' of his fortune, as we say, and not only to wait to receive everything ready from the state. And the last thing: earlier our people had just no purpose in life and they simply vegetated somehow, like puppets, which were pulled by strings by the loathsome communists, while now we have one very important goal, the most important goal at all — the survival of everyone of us, as well also of the whole country! And who or what has given us this goal? Well, the democratic reforms, of course, when under the totalitarianism it was not standing before us and now it stands! This is the most cheerful consequence of democracy and we have to welcome it enthusiastically and meet with open arms! This is the greatest and worthiest goal in the world. And this is our bright ideal, a real ideal, because, to all appearances, we will not be able to come soon to it. So that there are no reasons for worries and alarms. We are in an enviable position and must be only grateful to those who have led us to it. Heads up, Bulgarians! Jan 1999 — — — ARE YOU READY FOR THE ELECTIONS? As can be seen, there again come elections, how you say in English, and we still don't know what this word means. Although it isn't that we have not heard one Latin word with a bit intimate use, namely ... erection! Well, will somebody say, but there is nothing in common between both words, and he will be wrong, because every logopedist will tell you that the sounds 'r' and 'l' are pretty similar and often interchangeable. And you know that the English (as well also the Americans), instead of to strain their tongue making it to reverberate for the 'r', just draw it a bit deeper in the throat and pronounce something very near to that sound like in the word 'girl', because it is easy in this way for them. So that these two words are like twins, in the sense that both mean some 'heaving'. For it is really so, because what are the elections, if not some elevation of eminent political figures on the high arena called Parliament? Or, putting it in simple words: The people make the election, and the politicians get the 'erection'! That is how it is, because the politicians know well where is the 'honey', and it is always good to be near to the barrel with it, or to the state pie. Yet let we leave the chosen people in peace and think about what we can do for the 'lifters' or electors, because the choice is not at all an easy thing. Some nations have even proverbs for such cases, where the Germans (as well also the Austrians) say: Wer die Wahl hat, hat die Qual, what in English means that 'the choice is a torment'. And this torment was known to the people already since Roman times, for the reason that the word 'quality' in English (as well also in Australian, right?) comes from the same torment (to obtain good quality). But, torment or not, the people must choose, so that somebody must help them in this. And exactly this is our task now — to help the people, offering them some simple algorithms for choosing. 1. Algorithm of the wife It consists in this, that two or three days before the elections the husband asks his wife for whom she is going to vote. As far as in our situation there are usually two leading parties, then after she names the one party he simply chooses ... the other one! This rule is known already from Roman times and usually gives very good results in cases of electoral torments of various character. For single living men, naturally, there are not problems to ask their girl friend (or favorite feminine colleague), so that this nearly solves the problem for the masculine half of the population. 2. Algorithm of the husband It, for its part, is based on the natural orientation of the man, expressed in the most masculine in him. In the election day, when the husband gets from the bed, washes himself, breakfasts, and becomes dressed, for to go out to vote, his wife simply looks at him attentively, in order to find out ... in which direction of his trousers he has put his masculine part! In this way she now knows whether she must vote for the left-wing or the right-wing parties, and if occasionally sees that it stand by him in the middle, then she votes for the most powerful centrist party. For unmarried women there are no problems to spend the night before the elections with their beloved man, or, if this in the moment is difficult to be done (for some physiological or other reasons), then to call him in the morning by the phone and ask him about this with the inherent for their sex coquetry. Even if this surprises in some extent the man, then this surprise will be only pleasant for him. 3. Algorithm of the home pet This algorithm can be applied with little dogs, kitties, hamsters, or with a small child which still crawls on the ground. On small pieces of paper are written the initials of 5-6 parties, between which one is in doubt for which one to vote, then they are rolled in small balls and put in the middle of the room, or on a small rug. After this you retreat a bit away, in order not to disturb the natural curiosity of the pet, but watch it carefully, and when it begins to play with some of the balls you take it from the pet, unfold it, and read what you have written on it. In this way your choice is done for you in an objective and impartial way, though it is necessary, of course, to approach the matter fair, not to allure the 'independent voter' with paper pieces where earlier was wrapped something tasty for it (or him or her). If you occasionally have neither little crawling child, nor animal pet, then you just make a visit to some of your friends who have it, and you can be sure that you will spend an interesting and pleasant meeting with them. 4. Algorithm of the gentleman As it is known, the gentleman usually defends the weakest party (because the strongest has no need of defence), and in this way he makes his contribution to the creation of more just social order. The weakest party in this case are such parties that have no chances to reach the first place, but at the same time they have interesting platforms or leaders. For this reason the gentleman rejects the first 2-3 leading political powers and votes for some between the weaker ones (eventually using one of the other methods of choice), so that even if his party will not enter the Parliament he remains with a clear conscience that he has done the right thing. 5. Algorithm of the flock It is directly opposite to the previous method and consists in this, that is voted for those who will win the elections, according to some preliminary examination of public opinion. In this way the elector is sure that he has not wasted his vote and has made full use of his right of voting, but if he still has some doubts about the exact political power from the first three possible then he can apply also some other from the given here algorithms. This is a very good strategy for our country because it unites the population, instead of disuniting it. 6. Algorithm of the proportional choice It consist in the following: on a cardboard circle with diameter about 25 cm are painted circular sectors with different width, but proportionally to the preliminary prognoses for the parties in the elections. These sectors may be coloured with felt pens or colour pencils, and in the middle of the circle is made a hole (preferably with some sharp tubule) and with the use of a nail inserted in this hole the circle is fixed to the door of the room. This is the electoral target, and in addition to it is needed also some small dart, but if you have not such thing you can make yourself easy one using a bigger needle and passing though its eye a long thread about half to one meter, so that the needle was able to fly straight ahead. You can exercise yourself for days with this target, but in order to have more independent choice is necessary to learn to rotate it, and when you retreat at about two meters, only then to throw the dart. In the day of elections it remains to you to do the final and decisive throw. This algorithm not only alleviates your choice, but also turns it into an interesting and pleasant activity. 7. Algorithm of the enigmatic This algorithm is based on deciphering of the hidden meaning of some (seemingly unrelated with the elections) texts like, for example: your horoscope from the day preceding the elections in the preferred by you newspaper; some liked by you culinary recipe about something tasty; some publication on the sports page of the newspaper; interesting (or on the contrary, annoying) advertisement; 13th (or first, or last) page of the book that you read; and so on. Then you begin to read the text letter by letter, trying to get the initials of 5-6 parties between which you hesitate. These letters is hardly to expect to go exactly one after the other, and for that reason you write on a piece of paper the minimal distance between the first and the last letter of each of the parties, for which this became possible to happen. If occasionally you can not succeed to get some initials, then try in reversed order, or read every second letter only (or third, etc.). With enough perseverance and patience it is impossible not to succeed to read sometime something, what the mere fate has predestined as your choice, and in addition to this your time will pass interesting and meaningful. Well, this is all, dear readers, choose the preferred by you method, or some combination of the given here, and go boldly to vote, without the usual torments and sufferings to whom to give your vote. And if you feel yourself capable, then why not to invent some own algorithm? Take care only that it was sufficiently easy for applying, objective and independent from your moods in the given moment, so that you will not regret later that have lifted not the right politician, not the proper political power which was necessary to be lifted. And don't forget also that if you will not lift the leaders on the high arena, there is nobody else to do this, so that: help at least those people! April 1999 — — — NOMEN EST NUMEN! (To name is to define!) For a long time nobody in Bulgaria has whatever doubts that we are country of miracles, if you want only because in spite of the democracy we still exist, i.e. no matter that we are now a democratic state we are still far behind in regard of our living standard, compared with the situation under our 'Bai Tosho', and in the near 10-20 years 'from nowhere our eyes can see a hope coming' (as the poet has said). But there is nothing to wonder, for it turns out that everything was because of the ... names* of our politicians! [ * And as far as these names is expected to say nothing to the readers in English I will add in ordinary parentheses a pair of words about the people, which words are absent in Bulgarian original. I have "sinned" in this sense also in some places in other materials earlier, without adding of explicit footnotes. ] Well, judge for yourself: was it not clear that Sofianski will become mayor of Sofia, because it (the city) is, in fact, his, isn't it? But we have wasted our time on various elections and have spent a heap of money and nerves, while the people would have chosen him even five times, if this was possible, for the above reason. Or that Videnov, being 'viden' (what is eminent in Bulgarian) man, must stand at the head of the communists, sorry — socialists —, and he took the lead (and the consequences did not delay). Or also that Parvanov must be that man now — because who else if not Parvanov must be 'parvi' (or prav in Bulgarian, what is first), ah? ( Or maybe it will be better to introduce here the letter 'å', like that in your 'girl', and then the name will be Pårvanov, and the adjective pårvi or pråv. ) But this, will somebody object, are simply random coincidences. Well, then you count them on you fingers, when you think so, and when your fingers run out then continue with the toes, or take also the hands of your beloved and continue with her fingers (as well also move to her legs later), because two hands here will surely not suffice, and we will continue meanwhile with our survey. Let us take, for example, Stoianov — a good name, and the man is also good, he is obviously chosen to 'stoi' (i.e. stand) on a high place, and because he is also Petar (Petår, more precisely), i.e. petronimus, what in Latin means earth or stone (where from the petrol has come), then the man has stood like a stone on his place (of President) and everyone sees and hears him at least three times in a day, what is more than even the talks about our former 'dad' or 'uncle' or 'bai' (Tosho /Todor Zhivkov) on the media. And he, this 'bai' /'uncle' was named Zhivkov, right? And because of this the man has 'zhivia' (i.e. lived) for quite a long time on the throne, and in general (and give God to everyone so much, for how our nation has begun to grow younger, when now people can not reach even 70 years and die, and the young ones only reach their 25 years and are already out of the country, then it can well happen that the average age by us will, maybe, come close to the Christ's 33 years). Or look at the Zheliu (Zhelev), was it really not clear that he is 'zhelezen' (i.e. iron) man and will smash the communism to smithereens, right? But he was not so very 'steely' like Stalin and because of this he succeeded not to the end. This is so, but here is not only this, because he was also Zhelev, where we find the usual 'shele' (jelly), and this was a thing that his people have noticed and for this reason wanted to change him. They, surely, succeeded in this, but, after all, not earlier than the end of term, because along with this jelly there was also some iron, so that he withstood his mandate till its end, and now wishes to be chosen again, if only there will be found people willing to vote for him. Ah, there was also one Sabev (Såbev), who ... had a grudge (and we say a 'tooth', which in Bulgarian is 'zab' /'zåb') against nearly everybody — against the communists, against the Holy Synod (for he was a priest), and as if also against the whole Bulgaria, because in the recent time is heard nothing about him and he could have moved to other 'humans' across the ocean to spread the word of God. But there is also one Trenchev (boss of Trade Unions), who, as could have been expected from his name, has blossomed like a 'trendafil' (what is a rose in Turkish and known as archaic word in Bulgarian) in our democratic garden , and how he has not fought for place around the state's dining table so he has already secured it, because they invite him often to have a 'chat' (or 'laf-moabet' in Turkish, talks during a drinking bout) on different labour matters. Or let us take one clever man — one Solomon! He has abandoned his exact sciences (mathematical logic), because with them one can not earn much 'bread', and as far as he was also Passi, then he has made several 'passes', in order to pass us to the countries around the North Atlantic, no matter that, however great Bulgaria was in old times, it has never reached to the South Atlantic (to say nothing about the North one). But as far as the 'passing' was in his name then he simply will pass us to those states and his Solomonic eye will not even blink (how it happened, because he built even earlier the Atlantic Union in Bulgaria, and later become Prime Minister during the ruling of Tsarist party). And one, really, good man, has failed only because he was named Slabakov (he was a known actor), and have pulled down with him one viden-eminent person, because, well, how is it possible that a reasonable homo can decide to make coalition with some 'slabak' (or slab, what means weak), ah? Coalitions are made only with strong persons, for otherwise people will not respect them at all. And have you asked yourself sometime why one Attorney General must be named Tatarchev, ah? Well, because everyone is afraid of the Tatars, and when so then he respects (as much as this is possible under democratic conditions) the Attorney, as well as our laws, of course. It is not that we all, the Bulgarians, are, in one extent or another, Tatars, what is well seen in our debates in the Talking Shop, ouch, pardon me, — in the Parliament — but, maybe, exactly for this reason we choose such persons who are greater 'Tatars', than we are. Now we have on this post one Mr. Filchev, who is also good, because this means that he is very precise and exact (fin in Bulgarian, what is 'fine' because the word is Latin), i.e. filigreed in regard of applying of the laws, and this, that he is also Nikola, i.e. heir of the name of Greek goddess of victory, Nike, only makes him honour (among the criminal underworld). In general, for such persons is not so important that the people loved them, than that they were afraid of them, and these do their hard work. And in order not to think that this naming is valid only for politicians, then look at one Asparuchov (known footballer from the past): would he have been such if he was not descendant of the brave warriors of Khan Asparuh (or Isperih — and the 'h' is pronounced —, from the First Bulgarian Kingdom already in the 7th century), who have raised 'steam' (what is 'para' in Bulgarian or 'par' in Russian, but the root is ancient Greek) everywhere where they passed, or have 'razpariali' (torn, split) any defence, however good it only was? Or also Christo Stoichkov (present-day's known footballer): would he remained to 'stoi'-stand for so long like the brightest star on our football horizon, if he was not also one Christ for Bulgarian football? But it can't be that you do not know one Ganchev, right? ( Well, outside of Bulgaria he might not be known, but he has quite successfully tried to enter the politics ) He confuses us a little with his family (as well also with his first name, which in one passport was Georges, but read with 'zh', and in another one Georgi, and this time with 'g') but if you substitute in his family the leading 'g' with the similar 'h', or rather with the hard 'kh', how they write in on the West, then it is seen that he is one 'Khanchev', i.e. Khan of the Bulgarians! That is how must be looked at this person, and, nothing surprising, that it comes out exactly so, because this is written in his name and the names do not deceive. Because when his candidacy put various 'ovchari' (shepherds, coming from Bulgarian ovtsa what is your sheep), i.e. Ovcharovs /Ovcharovtsis, you see well that they can not win elections. Yet not this is strange, that they do not win, but that they put their candidacy at all, because nobody in the world has succeeded going against his name! While some of us, whom the very fate were predestined to wield bosdugans (or buzdugan, mace or cudgel with spikes, this is Turkish word), like Dogans (Akhmed Dogan the leader then of the Turkish ethnic minority party in Bulgaria), for example, wield them for ten years quite successfully with one small party, which can not gather together even 10 percent of the seats in the Parliament. Or we can take also one Simeon (our hereditary King, only not crowned). It may seem to be a good name, only that the English, when you say to them 'simian', understand something like the human, but not exactly, and most often an ape! They, surely, are cultured people, and will never say this to the person in the eye, but will think so. We also, here, do not say that this is true, we only fulfill our duty to him, id est not him to think that with this name he can become our King! For he can otherwise imagine this, looking at us, seeing how we only quarrel and show obvious need of somebody, who could unite us as nation, yet not around some parties and unions, but under one ancient institution, which has withstood the test of passed centuries. Only not under such name, but, probably, under some Dragan (where 'drag' is dear, i.e. that one felt simply glad to chose him), or around some Boil (where 'boia se' is to have fear, so that one will be afraid of him and listen to him), or also Petar /Peter (stony), or Stoian (stable), or Manol (with hard manus-hand), or Teofil (in Latin Theophilus, loving God), and so on. Then let us take Blagovest (Sendov, mathematician, was earlier Chairman of Bulgarian Academy of Sciences, and later, in his old age, moved to politics), is one such name that at once says you that he is a clever and reasonable man, because he carries only 'blagi vesty' (i.e. good news) and, although he is officially member of no party, he lived well during the totalitarian years, and now also lives not bad; while his brother (who is also mathematician), because he is only some 'dar ot boga' (gift from God) for his parents, or Bozhidar (bozhi is from God and dar is a present), continues to remain unknown to the general public, due to the fact that not those people have engendered him. As well also Kostov (economist, from UDF) informs us right away that he engages himself only with things that can be sold (the English to cost comes from German kosten, and is also Latin), or who have costuema-costing price, as is said (or, maybe, it has to be said now 'kostovena' price?). He, really, does exactly so, sells everything that can be sold, and to anyone who gives more, even if it goes about a whole country, because in the world of capital everything is sold, countries too. And also with this Ivan as first name, what comes from the Russian 'iva' (what is a willow), what says that he has flexible back (and the willow is flexible) and bends to where the wind blows, so that not to be harmed by bad climatic conditions, he has all chances to endure another ten years on the political arena, so that you see how very indicative are the names. ( And don't discard, please, this hypothesis of mine about the name Ivan, because I think the same idea is hidden also in the ... ivory; don't be confused with the fact that Ivan is biblical name, because it does not sound like John, nor like Yonah, nor also like your Ivanhoe, because we pronounce is as is written, 'ivan', and there is this piercing cry 'iii', and it curves, modulates. ) Then there is one Blaga Dimitrova (a feminine writer), and why has she so rapidly been moved in the dead track? Well, because she was too 'blaga' (gentle, gracious) and is also a women, which has 'dumala' (thought in Russian) too much! From the 'dim' (a smoke, in Bulgarian, or also similarly in Russian) was formed the Russian duma and from here comes the name Dimitar (Dimitår, in Bulgarian, or Dmitriy in Russian), which was not much honoured in Bulgaria already from the times of 'Gosho' (i.e. Gergi) Dimitrov (our, as well international, eminent communist leader). We are not like the ancient Greeks, for to be impressed by some words — to us give actions and thrillers — and because of this also the newspaper 'Duma' (of BSP, Bulgarian socialists-communists) was barely able to collect cents in order to be issued, while some other newspapers like 'Hours' (24 Hours, 168 Hours), 'Trud'-labour, and 'Standart'-standard, are read so that even 'smoke rises', as we like to say. And one more Dimitrov has also become not specially famous, though this not because of his family of thinker, but because his mother and father have given him the name Filip /Phillip (fervent UDF leader, i.e. destroyer of communism, only without whatever creativity, of course), and it is the same as Russian filin, what means — I beg his pardon — simply an owl. Yeah, though a party that puts 'owls' at the head, even if it is not party but coalition, will not reach too far, at least until it does not change them with others. While at the same time Alexanders are not deprived of chances for success, because their name is derived in the easiest way from German 'alles', what means 'all' and, sure thing, was known to the ancient Romans already in the times of Mr. Macedonian. These are all persons who want to have everything and in such case they choose to stay at the head, either of an army, or of a Parliament, or of Government, or of something else of the kind. There is also Mr. Karakachanov (the youngest politician, maybe), who has set himself similar goal, but: where to with this family, boy? Who nowadays respects the karakachans (practically extinguished nomadic tribe in Bulgaria that lives in the mountains and breeds cattle), or who will respect them in the future? It is clear that the man is pretty green (he is Leader of the Green Party) and because of this makes this errors. When he matures and reddens enough, or maybe becomes blue (i.e. goes to UDF) like an eggplant, and if he changes his family, then, with this Alexander in front, maybe 'his parachute will open' (idiomatic for to succeed in Bulgarian), yet for the moment the 'all' is quite away from him. And another man with the same name — Tomov — will also hardly succeed much, because the Doubting Thomas is a name known since biblical times, and it is seen that he is neither with the red, no dares to become blue enough. This is one very unstable, at least for a politician, name. If he decides to change it to, say, Lomov, what comes from the breaking and smashing (lomatj, with soft ending 't', in Russian) then he will see how the tings will become at once better, because people honour those who break outdated norms (even if they have nothing better to offer). Or then to Tomboliev — then people maybe will choose him, for everybody likes to play in tombolas or lotteries, and it may happen that they will suddenly win something for themselves, with his help. Or there was one young boy — Emil — who never succeeded to come to terms with the 'komshuluk' ('komshiia' is a neighbour in Turkish) in our country and went to the States and now lives there not bad and does not complain. But it turned out that the snag was in his family Koshlukov, what is as if shortened from Komshulukov, and if it was some other then he, probably, would have remained in Bulgaria and would have built the democracy as thousands of other politicians, because his first name was Emil, what is a very 'milo' (i.e. nice) name, isn't it? Or take also one Reneta, who has a very nice name — like a juicy apple (a sort of apples, I suppose) —, and if it was not this Indzhova after it, which makes a heap of Bulgarians to put ahead of it the letter 'm' (and 'mindzha' is Turkish or Gypsy jargon for, I beg your pardon, vagina), she would have entered already in real Governments, not only in such that last 'from the morning till the noon' as the saying by us goes (i.e. temporary, for a month, I think). And now look at Mrs. Mihailova: one may say that she has run after the 'mihalia' (the expression 'run after the mihalia' means to 'chase the wind' and I suppose it is distorted from mistral) with this family of her, yet as far as she is Ekaterina /Katharina /Catherine, what means that she can well 'kateri' (climb up, this is something Greek because they have many word beginning on kata- there) — just like a squirrel (which for this reason is 'katerichka' in Bulgarian) — has already climbed high enough, and it will be nothing surprising if she will put her candidacy also for President, because the climbing is in her blood. Similar things with another dame with the same family — Nadezhda. When one hears this name one can not fail to be delighted, because she may as well warrant one's hopes (a 'hope' is exactly 'nadezhda' in Bulgarian, Russian, and others Slavonic languages), and even become Minister (for we, anyway, live only with hopes — 10 years earlier we hoped that when there arise many parties, or companies, the things will begin at once to go smoothly hereafter, but it turned out that the point wasn't in their number, but in their quality and magnitude; now, on the contrary, we hope that their number will at last decrease, in order for them to become larger, like by the totalitarianism). And what can be said about Mr. Simeonov, who, except that is like a monkey (according to his family, of course), but is five times more such, because is named Petko (and five is 'pet' in Bulgarian, also Friday, as fifth day of the week, is petak /petåk)? A good man, but the name is bad, and when so then he is not suitable for politician, no matter that is liberal (i.e. of the Liberal Party). And there is also Mr. Beron, who was born to earn ('bera' in Bulgarian is to gather, and here come all English berries, and the root was Sanskrit, some bhas) the fruits of his labour, but when you connect him with this stone (Petar, and the stone is Latin) in front and it turns that he can at the best 'earn' some stone on the head. In fact, with this family, even if his parents have christened him Gosho, he could have, still, reached something big is his life, but who was there to tell this to them in their time? The communists have looked with contempt at such 'nonsense', according to them, like nomenology, and you see now the deplorable results for our democracy. Or let us look for a while to the farmers, or rather to the peasant parties. Milan is a very good name, as we have already said (mil-nice), but what are doing here these 'drenki' (cornels in English) after it (meant that his family is Drenchev), ah? Maybe this is allusion that he is a big thorn ('draka' in Bulgarian) and it is better to have nothing in common with him, or else this is again blunder, but this time of his great-great-grandfather? By some of the others occur one more time the name Gosho, what, after all, sounds bad (what is 'losho' in Bulgarian and it rhymes here)! And the not unknown lady Anastasia, suffers mainly because people can not grasp who she really is, Ana or Stanka, and such instability on the political arena can not bring her the adoration of the populace, right? And in addition to this her family Moser sounds for us even more enigmatic and also frightening, because it reminds us about some Mausers, and we are peaceful nation, due to the fact that the Turks have thought us this for five centuries of yoke, where the Serbs, as you see, because their hands always 'sarbiat' ('sårbiat', are itching in English) to begin to fight with somebody (you know that there is such belief when your hands are itching that you want to do something), have barely waited that the democracy gave them this possibility and began at once to combat. But as far as it is time to finish then let us make also our proposition for the ideal politician, from the viewpoint of science nomenology, which we have mentioned above. There are, naturally, many variants, and they depend on the political climate in the moment, on the sex of the person, on the external features and the character of him or her, but, still, let us propose several names. For example, what is bad with one Alexandar Stoichev as President or Prime Minister, because he will ustoiava-withstand all attacks (mainly of his people, because those of the others, as a rule, are slighter)? Or also Miroslav Krastev (Kråstev), who for this reason is so christened ('krasten /'kråsten' in Bulgarian), because will become famous ('slaven') all around the world ('mir')? Though the name can also be Dimo Kratski — both, short name, and easy to be remembered, and which has sucked into itself the quintessence of democracy, so that, in whatever party he does not enter, he will move upward, until comes at the head of the entire country, because he was born to be democrat and will remain it (unless he makes the error to change his name). Or also Slavi Bozhkov, ah? He will always slavi-glorify God, or he alone will be the slava-glory of God, what is good seen on the example of our Ivan Slavkov, who was famous under the totalitarianism (he become son in law of Todor Zhivkov), and now people think he is nearly a god (what in Bulgarian and other Slavonic languages is 'bog', and the word was of Persian origin, baga), because stands at the head of BOK (what is Bulgarian Olympic Committee)! And could you imagine what would have been if he was named Bozhan Slavkov? Ah, then there would have been no need to held elections for President, right? Prosecutors and judges, on the other hand, must stake on the brute force and perseverance, on the fear, power, health, quickness, et cetera. And for the women, because the political arena starts to become more and more their field of career, what is easily explainable with the fact that the women are, as a rule, more mediocre personalities, who must listen to what the others say to them and make this in a sweet, pleasant, and non-confronting way, what is entirely justified also for the politicians, as resonators of the voice of people (even if they sometimes turn to resound ... hollow), we can propose the following names: Milena Govorliyska, Slavka Balgaranova, Ivanka Hubcheva ('hubav' is like German hübsch and means nice, agreeable), Padka (or also Radostina — 'radost' is joy, happiness) Emilova, Svobòda Iskrenova ('iskren' is honest) or Rumiana ('rumen' is rosy, ruddy) Stoianova (quite neutral names and suitable for all Cabinets), Stanka Liubenova (where is possible also masculine variation as, for example, Liuben Stoianov; 'liubim' means beloved), Nartasha Matseva (no Russophobe will reject her — for the reason that 'matse' is like German Mietze and means a girl), Zheny Miroliubska (the family means that she loves the world), Lili Dimova (evokes associations about smell of liuliak-lilac and smoke of domestic hearth), Petrana Blazheva, Eleonora Moneva (or the lonely Eleanor — both neutral and a little exciting), and many others. June 2000 P.S. The question with the names is, obviously, very important for a politician, or generally for some star in whatever field, and for this reason many choose pseudonyms for themselves that would say something (subconsciously or without realizing this) to the people. For the passed nearly ten years can be added also: Stanishev (leader of the 'social-communists'), who, it is absolutely clear, has always dreamed to 'stane shef' (become boss, exactly so), because such was the message of his parents to him; the perky Volen Siderov (leader of our, however sad it is, fascists — but there is nothing to fear, because he has never gathered more than 6-7% of the votes), who probably hopes that his electors will appraise how free-thinking he is (because 'volno' means free), as well also will make association with one hayduk Sider, about whom in the old days were sung songs; the shyly blinking (to blink is 'migam' in Bulgarian) Miglena (from the Tsarist party, which now has almost ceased to exist),but also Kuneva and with pretty skillful hands ('kunka' in Bulgarian is children jargon for a hand), so that was able to move anywhere; and surely also others. 2008 — — — |
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