N O W , L O O K H E R E !(publicistics)Chris MYRSKI, Sofia, Bulgaria, 2001 ...— — — — —
[ Remark: As far as the book is enormously big it is published here, by old habit, in small booklets amounting to about 50 (to 100) KB, containing normally from three to five papers. Here is the last (and not full) portion of three feuilletons. ] — — — — — CONTENTS OF THE SECTIONS Foreword I. For Journals II. For Newspapers III. Feuilletons IV. Others — — — — — Contents Of Section "Feuilletons" About the sunflower seeds and the people The extremal solution For reforming of Bulgarian language To contemporary Bulgarian language New laws — old policy Heads up, Bulgarians! Are you ready for the elections? Nomen est numen! (to name is to define) How to fill the treasury About the usefulness of cockroaches (scientific feuilleton) Better not to live to pension age! already the end — — — — — HOW TO FILL THE TREASURY Let us first express our gratitude, ladies and gentlemen, to the Chief Financial Officer of the Republic for his decision from 18 Dec 98 about this, that from Jan the 1st 99 already one minimal salary is equal to two such salaries, in the sense of social insurance. Many people underestimate the epochal meaning of this fact, but it opens unexpected horizons before our economy and finances, because in this way any number can be equaled to any other! For this purpose suffice only two rules, namely: 1 = 1, which can be named rule of the common sense (RCS), and 1 = 2, which we will name rule of the Finance Minister (RFM). In view of the symmetry of equality, i.e. that it is true in both directions, RFM means also that 2 = 1, or 1 = 1/2 . For example, let us now prove that 5 = 9. This is done easily splitting the five in 4 + 1, and then for the first number applying the RFM, and for the second — RCS, and the achieved results are added. In similar way can be redefined also the arithmetic with common fractions, working separately in the numerator and denominator, as well as that with decimal fractions, where we are working with their integer and fractional parts, and after this they are glued together. This is discovery of genius and the world will only now recognize it, but it alone is not enough to fill the state treasury, pillaged by the communists during their totalitarian ruling, and because of this it is duty of every patriotic citizen (as well also villager) to make his or her contribution for establishing of new taxes and payments for the state. The modest contribution of the author consists of ten variants, some of which have been applied in the human history and, hence, have proved their expediency, and the others can become our national contribution on this subject. So that let us begin. 1. Toilet tax For each toilet (WC) in the home has to be paid tax of 1 lev per day, and for a toilet in the yard — half of this sum*, independently of the number of persons who are using it. As far as in an average family of 3 persons the toilet is used as minimum 10 times in a day, this would have made only by 10 cents for one usage, what, after all, is at least twice (or rather 3-4 times) cheaper than the public toilets in the streets, more hygienic and convenient for the citizens, and would not burden especially the family budget, but, on the other hand, a sum of 360 lv in an year would be a good inflow in our state budget. Yet because we live in a free society everybody must have also the right to decline using of his (or her) toilet, filing a request for its sealing, where there are no problems for him to conclude an agreement with his neighbour to use his, paying him part of the amount. [ * As far as the material was written when we have already introduced our money Board the prices are current and 1 lev = 1/2 Euro (or one old German mark). ] 2. Shoe tax Every Bulgarian citizen must pay yearly a tax in the amount of 10 lv monthly if he wears shoes on the street and other public places, during that time. The tax is paid as yearly, but if somebody wants in some months, say, in June, July, and August, to go barefooted then he must declare this in the Municipality, till the end of the month preceding his barefoot walking (in our example till the end of May), and then he will have to pay for the year only 90 levs. Must be provider, though, fines in ten-fold amount, if it will be proved that someone has filed request for exemption of the tax, but all the same was seen during that time to go on street in shoes by at least two witnesses. 3. Sweet excise On all sugar products (with sugar content of more than 20%, in order that this does not affect the diabetics) must be paid excise duty in the amount of 50 cents per kg sugar, what is justified because the sweet corrupts the teeth, it is not vitally necessary like the proteins and milk products, neither is so caloric like the fats. Such excise exists in Poland, and it is simply not clear why it is not yet applied in Bulgaria, having in mind that a kilo sugar costs nearly as liter milk, and sugar is consumed at least five times less, so that the pockets of the citizens will not suffer much. 4. Teeth tax It is time to resurrect again the known in the past teeth tax (during our Turkish yoke, although not officially and as excuse for begging of money by the Turkish governmental officers), yet now going out of the equality of all before the law. It has to be paid on a yearly basis in the amount of 5 lv per live tooth, where for such is counted that, which is preserved more than on the half (according to assessment of health authorities), but in this case the milk teeth are not counted. By an average teeth loading of the human of 20 teeth this will give in an year only 100 lv, approximately as much as costs a single dental prosthesis, and in this sense such law will help for reaching of some democratic equality of people with healthy teeth with those with prostheses, but not harming neither of them. At the same time it is clear that everyone will prefer to pay this tax (and fill the treasury) instead of to pull out his teeth (paying for the prostheses). 5. Tax on life As far as the most precious thing in the world is the human life, then for it, naturally, must be paid tax to the state. Our proposition is the following: every Bulgarian citizen who has reached age of majority must pay a lump sum in the amount of ten minimal working salaries for the female sex, and twenty for the male one, where this tax can be paid in installments during five years with some minimal added interest, after what this interest becomes punitive. Divided to the average life span this is one ridiculously small sum yearly for such precious asset. 6. Sexual tax Because people make sex predominantly for enjoyment, not for continuation of the gender, it is wholly justified to impose tax on this activity. Our proposition is to pay by one lev per intercourse, applying the following fixed base: for persons between 15 and 25 years — by one intercourse daily, for those between 25 and 35 years — by four intercourses weekly, from 35 to 45 — by three times in a week, from 45 to 55 — by two times in a week, and for the left till 65 years — once in a week, and those older than 65 years are entirely exempted of this tax. Of course, everybody who wanted can refuse the paying of this tax under condition that he /she proves before medical authorities that is impotent /frigid, or moves in the next lower category, by notarized declaration of three witnesses confirming the reduced number of intercourses, measured during at least one month. 7. Anti-corruption tax In connection with the increased corruption in our country we think that it is necessary to create an Anti-Corruption Fund (ACF), which must be filled by means of this tax in the amount of half minimal monthly salary in an year from each citizen of age. In this case every senior public officer, to whom some bribes and other benefits are offered, beyond those according to his labour contract, man apply to ACF declaring the offered sum and asking higher from the Fund, but yearly not more than the doubled amount of his official income for the previous calendar year. This is fighting of corruption on the principle 'fight fire with fire' and is expected that it will give good results on our native ground. 8. Sun tax Because it is well known that the Sun not only shines but also warms us, and is main cause for the growth of animals and plants, it is right that every citizen paid also tax in accordance with the number of sunny days in the year. They must be declared in the beginning of every year for the past one, by regions of the country, and every citizen of a given region must pay tax in the amount of one percent of the minimal monthly salary for sunny day, or half percent — for foggy one. Of course, the days with solar eclipses must be excluded from this number, in order not to burden excessively the population with unbearable taxes. 9. Working tax Every citizen with permanent work, or paying his insurance as working for the given period, must pay also tax in the amount of: 5% of the salary (or that on which basis he is ensured) for the first five years on this working place, 4% — for the next five years on the same place, and only 3% for more that ten years on one and the same place. The significance of the job for the life of everybody is obvious, what necessitates this tax. 10. Democratic tax Because the democracy is the most significant achievement in the social area in the present days, for it, as also for everything good on this world, must be paid dearly. From this standpoint is justified paying from each citizen of age and to the reaching of him (her) 70 years of one common democratic tax in the amount of half minimal monthly salary in an year for his right to live in our dear homeland. Double citizenship does not give grounds for exemption from this tax, but sick days and staying in medical institutions can be later restored to the person in proportion with the time. Surely also must be allowed that people with permanent injuries, unemployed, and disabled were exempted from this tax in the name of humanity. With timely applying of major part of these taxes even in this year is obvious the unavoidable development and improvement of our democratic society. Only in this way the young democratic sprouts will grow up and begin to bear fruit, what in turn will express itself in an incessant enhancement of the welfare of our nation now, and in the bright democratic future. Thank you for the attention. July 2000 — — — ABOUT THE USEFULNESS OF COCKROACHES (scientific feuilleton) Well, there are many reasons exactly about the benefits of our constant companions in our homes nowadays and because of this I quietly say that I am feeding cockroaches at home, for it turns out to be really so. I am looking at them, as cares about them (because, if I was not there, then they also would not have been there, at least not in such abundance), but also as watching them (will I this or not, where necessary — if it is at all necessary somewhere, even if I don't understand clearly where exactly —, and where not), in all time, but especially in the evenings and nights (approximately before the beginning of the dawn) and mostly in the kitchen joint. So that let me explain to the readers why they are so useful, in order to dedicate them this material. The first consideration is that once God has created them then they must exist, otherwise they wouldn't have existed! This is iron logic, of the type of ancient Eastern view, that this world is the best one from all possible (for if there was some better one then it would have been settled long ago). If some of you don't like the word 'God' then substitute it with 'Nature', i.e. the cockroaches are part of the whole ecological cycle on Earth, especially in the hot areas, so that if there was not necessity of them then they, surely, would have disappeared (say, in our climatic zones there are not white bears, right, but in the North they exist, yet there are no cockroaches). In general case this is correct also for many other insects (for the flies, gnats, spiders, and others), but the next things are already more specialized, and the idea is that they multiply exactly where is felt some necessity of them (because otherwise they would have not done this, to remind you this again), and if we don't understand clearly their significance (i.e. God's intentions), then this is our problem. The second consideration is that they exist from deep antiquity, far before the mammals, and when so then they have rich experience and well-tested instincts; regardless of their antiquity, though, when it becomes necessary, they mutate easy (like also the other insects), what is confirmed by the fact that now are met mainly ones smaller, reddish (rather reddish-brown) and elongated, not those that were 20-30 years before (black and spherical, although such also are met sometimes. But it is possible that exactly the reddish are the classical type, because your word 'cockroach' means 'reddish cocca' or 'kuka' (in Bulgarian, what is hook, meant as something curled). These nasty creatures — but, to remind you that this word comes from ... the creation, or v.v., of course (and the same is the situation in Slavonic languages, where in Russian they are tvari and to create is tvorit), i.e. they are also God's creations, like the other animals (a thing that was present also in the Western, or rather French, and from there also English, word ... cretin, which has arisen from Latin creare what is to create — and I may add that this must be so because this thing is usually done in deep bowls named in old Greek kraters /craters). So that these God's creatures are practicably indestructible, and as if the most reliable method is ... the cold, i.e. if you stay in cold premises, below 20oC at least in the winter, then they decrease in their number to the possible minimum. Otherwise, when you sprinkle with something, then they run away for some time, but one thing is that they run to your neighbours, what is not solving of the question in it's fullness, but also after some time they return back, if they like it by you, i.e. if it is hot, you cook and spill here and there some food, if there are cupboards and /or boxes (and in what home they are missing?) where they can hide and multiply, and especially in older homes, where are some cracks in the walls or plastering, although I wouldn't have said that they will refuse to settle in a good and new brick home. In order not to separate this as new point I can add here also that they are big ... patriots, i.e. they like their places, where they have hatched (even if they don't know their father and mother, of course), so that if you drive them away for some time, they return again later. The third consideration is that they are not poisonous, don't bite and don't even buzz, they are quiet and humble 'home pets'. Actually, the 'classical' home fly is far more annoying than one well bred and bashful cockroach (for they, as a rule, are afraid to appear before your eyes, they wait until you go out of the kitchen and then begins their time), not to mention the gnats, spiders, as also the home ants (which can bite, if necessary). Well, it is true that in the night they walk around, and if there are some greased with something boxes (say, styrofoam packagings of meat products), then they begin to scratch them, in order to clean them (no matter that you have not begged them specially about this), or it may happen that they can walk on ... your forehead, in order to 'wipe your sweat' or fat, so to say, but when you do not guess to do this, and when they suppose that you are sleeping, then why should not the insects make a little walk? In the end, they are living in your home, so that why not to visit you, ah? Indeed, if you have a dog or a cat, or small child, does it not happen that in the night he /she/ it comes to you as to a more secure place; take it that the cockroaches also seek protection by you from their nightmares (because, who knows?). The fourth consideration is that they are not at all dirty, like many of us think, but on the contrary, they like to walk around the toothbrush or the sponge for dishwashing, i.e. even if they don't have teeth (I, honestly, have never looked what they have in the mouth), but like the disinfecting aroma, wash at lest their paws, and would have never hidden in dirty corners if you have offered them clear small boxes (as I said, they are shy, they don't like that you watched them when they sleep or, hmm, do these things that do also the humans when the hormones chase after them). So that, as a variant, you could leave for them one kitchen cupboard, or at least a pair of small boxes where you can throw any empty packs (say, out of safety matches, or medicaments, whichever you have, they are not pretentious, but the smaller their size is the better), or these can be simply paper pieces (used tram tickets or cash checks will also do), but don't touch them there and don't try to deceive them, beginning a genocide against them, because they, as we will see later, a quite clever. If in addition to this you pour them in the evening some fresh milk (but natural, do not torture them with dissolved milk powder, they have not deserved this) in one saucer, it can be in the bathroom, or even before the door of the apartment, then, in the end, — as I have heard the Hindus had the habit to do — they would be glad, and you too (because they will not scratch where you don't like to). The fifth consideration is that they even cleanse your home of various greasy and fermenting products, stains on the floor, around the sink, on the oven, even around (and possibly also inside of) the refrigerator! Jokes aside, they process these liquid remains in solid product — such very small, like a head, or even a top, of a pin, but otherwise hygienic black balls, which in fact are their faeces (if I can allow myself to contaminate your hearing or eyesight with these words). Well, it is true that they stick to everything, where they have left them — and they leave them everywhere —, but this is a natural thing, so to say, and how to reprimand them, when also the little children, as well as the home animals, do the same thing, and their things also smell. Where the cockroaches, as I have said, are clear animals, and if they leave something after them, then it is well processed, with assimilated all possible protein substances, or fats, or milk products, but they don't look with contempt also at sweet things (although are not much greedy at them — while raw minced meat, even if with addition of soya, is another thing). And because this is popular scientific presentation then let me explain to you some moments about the spoiling of products. Now, there are two kinds of spoilage, one is to preserving, and the other is to destroying; the first is to some kind of fermentation, i.e. oxidation, but is possible that initially goes also some sugarization, because the sugar easily becomes sour (it needs only some water and time), and the other kind is towards the alkaline. This must be confirmed by every chemist, because there are only acids and alkali (if you don't count the neutral substances, but they are only delimiting and unstable state). But this, what hardly some chemist will explain to you, is why the alkali is named so (and don't be confused with some etymology from Arabic, this isn't to the point), yet I have myself a version about this matter, I suppose that the alkali is more or less the same as the Russian word 'kal', what are the mentioned faeces. If you doubt about this Russian influence on the chemistry, then compare with these Latin faeces (and take into account that in Latin 'c' before 'a' is read as 'k'), which are split in two syllables (ultimately every word splits in syllables) and the first is some contemptuous (or spitting) fi- /fu- /tfu- or /phu-, and the second is this very 'kal', which comes from the old Greek, no matter that there it means something good, καλο, and from there is also Bulgarian 'kal', which now is not so bad a thing as in Russian, it is simply a dirt, like mud. So that I am not in error (but let me not go here into details about this why the root 'kalo' can be both, something good and also something bad), and in this case the cockroaches, as also many other insects, collect everything sour and /or greasy, what they can find, and process it (inasmuch as all animal species process, to some extent, the products, as also the plants, but they do this mainly with inorganic substances) in solid alkaline faeces. Id est, the cockroaches don't eat sh##, as many can possibly think, but are very clean insect-creatures. The sixth consideration is that they are extremely intelligent creatures, and nearly always more clever or smart than the humans, more so taking into account that they have almost nothing, i.e. their 'brains' are with dimensions of tip of a pin, and this by older exemplars, to say nothing about the 'children', and their eyes are faceted, i.e. they see only spots, something like nearsighted with at least 10 diopters. You just imagine how you would have felt if were forced to watch your favorite TV series on a circular screen (the size does not matter) with about 50 spots, probably in one colour. And in spite of this they almost always guess your intentions, and when you just stay and look at them they stay quiet, but only you decide to stretch your hand and grasp something in order to kill them, and they have already disappeared. Such rapidness and precision of reactions, by such primitive structure of their organisms, is directly fantastic, and such are the cockroaches, amazing creatures, just to feel remorse to kill them! And it is even not clear, when we destroy them with different chemical agents, don't we do them something ... good in genetic regard, forcing in this way new and better suited mutations (to say nothing about the physical destruction — this is simply survival of the fittest, i.e. we select them in this way!). The seventh consideration, which is penultimate in our list (or last in a more serious aspect), is that they are unusually slender and beautiful insects, at least the elongated reddish ones, in good physical condition, directly acrobats, clime the walls, and sometimes even walk on the ceiling, were it only sufficiently warm (higher than 20 degrees Celsius), for the reason that the insects lack yet control of their body temperature. ( And for some time I have looked that one my toothpick, or rather a fragment of such, as if is not on the same place where I have left it the previous day — I am living alone and there is nobody else to touch it —, but thought that maybe I am wrong, yet when this happened several times I came to the conclusion that these creatures simply ... are exercising sports in the night, they are lifting weights, ah? But maybe this 'cockroach-boy' — because in Bulgarian this insect is 'she', or then 'girl' because in Russian it is 'he', i.e. I mean that the sex may be different from the usually accepted, although in English the usual things sometimes sound unusually —, so maybe this 'guy' or 'girl:' is simply angry at me that I have left nothing on the toothpick, whether I know, but one Bulgarian intellectual cannot allow himself to leave tasty bits even on the tip of a toothpick, so that let this 'insector' or 'insectoress' forgive me. ) But if they can't regulate their body temperature, then they can lay eggs, which survive the cold times, so that it again turns out that they are built physically very well. Besides, they can cling to practically any surface (plaster, paint, wood, faience, etc.) if only it is not extremely polished, and if you think that they sometimes fall from the table — because this has to be the idea behind the Russian name 'tarakan', i.e. that they do 'trr' when they flop to the ground — then you are wrong, they simply jump! Id est they know that they can't fly, but they are light, the reddish ones (and the black ones have hard shell, and surely keep balance better than the cats, so that they land on their paws), and jump from a height of one meter, even of two (what, compared with their dimensions, means that a human jumps from 100 - 200 meters, and without any parachute, maybe only opening a little the flanks of his overcoat!). And they are quite beautiful — all insects are directly perfect in their structure —, and the healthy body leads to healthy ... sex, of course, in every time, like by the humans, so that: how one can not admire them? ( In fact, if there is something for which I don't like them much, this is that one just can't ... swear at them properly, because, you see, with a cockroachess, and more so if it is 'he', isn't the best thing to imagine. ) Well, on parting we can add an eight consideration about the usefulness of cockroaches — this, that they can be quite useful as ... food! Id est, they maybe are not very tasty (I, for my part, have always felt pity to kill them for this purpose, so that I personally have not tasted them), but they contain fats (it is seen when one smashes them with a good hit), proteins (when they are so agile, because we eat mainly muscles, the so called striated, which are some long fibers and with hooks at both ends and they cling to one another), and also contain calcium, because they have chitin shells and non-developed wings (what is nearly equal to ... milk products, for we eat milk and milk products chiefly because of the calcium in them, that is necessary especially for the young and the old). So that here is one such recipe: Cockroaches with rice a la Myrski You take one glass jar for stewed fruit, 700 - 800 ml, pour in it half coffee cup of rice (50 g), add a coffee cup of fresh milk (100 ml), pour also a little (10 ml) sunflower oil, put very little salt and sugar (maybe also black pepper, if you have accustomed them to more spicy food), curl around the jar some handkerchief (it might be also used, so is even better) and fix it with elastic band to the orifice, so that it hung down and reached to the floor, but otherwise left the jar open, and put it in the evening in the kitchen or the bathroom, where the cockroaches like to walk. The handkerchief is not obligatory, or can be used also some narrow piece of cloth tied like a cravat, which stretches on the floor, but it is necessary to have something similar in order to alleviate the rising to the top for these little animals, after what they jump — voluntarily, i.e. you do not compel them, this is quite democratic approach — inside, eat as much as they can, but can't climb back out. If for one night there will not accumulate enough — they have to be about 50 -100 pieces, otherwise the meal will be very meatless — then leave the jar for a second (or third) night; don't be afraid that the milk will spoil, it will firstly try to preserve itself through some kind of souring, or add a little vinegar (this may attract even more insects). In the day when you decide to cook this meal you just pour quickly the contents in the saucepan, where you have first fried a little grated union, in more oil, add water for the rice, put the preferred by you spices, but do not forget finely chopped celery, parsley or dill, and after half an hour of cooking (the cockroaches will quickly be ready, they are too small) add, if possible, some grated parmesan. After fife more minutes the meal is ready. Well, this is portion for one person, so that if you are more people, or if you expect guests, then put several such jars, or even ask some of your neighbours to leave for a night a pair of jars by them; usage of bigger jar with increased dose is also a variant, but don't fill much a small jar (maximum till 1/3 of the it, but preferably till the 1/4), because the food can run away by you. This dish can be prepared also in clay pots, and then instead of parmesan you can knock on top by one (tiny, it can be from quail) egg, but there is no necessity of other meat additions, in order to be able to feel good the taste of the insects. Well, bon appetite! And love the cockroaches, they deserve this! Sep 2012 — — — BETTER NOT TO LIVE TO PENSION AGE! (tragicomic saga about Bulgarian pensions) Now, gentlemen, the situation with the pensions in Bulgaria, frankly speaking, is tragic, but as far as the tragic and the comic, according to the ancient Eastern sages, with whom I agree, often touch one another, and to laugh, after all, is better than to cry, then I am writing this material as feuilleton. To laugh is especially good when one has nice teeth, even if they are false or bogus, which one can show to everybody, or when the person, or rather the woman, has stuck in her tongue some gold or gilded push-pin, or something very like this, only with a small ruby or some other precious stone, and because of this opens so wide her mouth that is seen her insatiable (for pleasures) throat, or her tonsils, if she has still not cut them off. Well, if one has not teeth (like, say, your author), then he can smile ironically or cynically, and this, all the same, is better than to pour rivers of tears. Because our transition to democracy, which continues for more than 25 years now — and it continues because we still live on the average 3-4 times worse than under the totalitarianism — for some of us proceeds good, but for others it is quite probable to finish only to the end of 21st century. Yet let us move in succession. But have in mind that I am just now going on pension, so that I have learned something, these are pretty exact calculations, it isn't guessing on coffee grounds. So that we will begin with this, that in order to go on pension in Bulgaria one has to have nearly 40 years length of service (38, but this is in the moment, and they increase gradually and after a pair of years will become 40), and have at least 64 years (I round the numbers a little for easy calculations). If one has still not so much service then after a pair of years, now it is nearly 66 years, he or she can go on pension even having only 15 years service. So that, gentlemen, grin, rejoice, because it turns out that even with 15 years length of service one can, thanks to our democracy, retire at last. Though this is not exactly so, naturally, this is the so called half pension, for which before, id est under the bad and inhuman totalitarianism, for this were necessary only 10 years (if I am not wrong). And for normal retirement in the last century was required age of 60 years for the men and 55 for the women. So that for 25 years (to round the calculations) the pension age for men has increased with 5 years, and for women with whole 10 years. Calculate now, children, under this same rate of growth of age, on what age will retire men and women after one century (or in 2115). Well, I don't know how you calculate, but for the women this will make more than hundred. That's it. And this is normal situation, but we have had in Bulgaria even more "normal" (understand, abnormal) situation in the first years of the transition, somewhere maybe up to 1995th, when men could retire on 57 and women on 53, because, you see, our eminent UDF persons, i.e. the only real democrats, from the Union of Democratic Forces (which union nowadays cannot get even one percent of the votes), thought that the old people only hinder in vain the young ones to make career and due to this, the sooner we will get rid of them, the better. Further the system of calculating of the pension is relatively simple and, as is said, transparent, because is calculated the gross income for everybody for all years of his (or her) service, it is related to the average income for the country, in tables, all decent and properly, and in this way is obtained the individual coefficient (IC) for the person. Then the average salary in the moment — mark, in the moment, the pensions are perpetually corrected, just unbelievable (or at least in the beginning are calculated correctly, I have not yet enough statistics for to state this firmly) — is multiplied by this coefficient and is obtained the basic income for calculation of the pension. After this the last income is multiplied by the percents obtained in the following elementary (and smart) way, counting each year of service for one percent (say, 20 years and 6 months gives 20.5%), where with PLS will denote these percents of length of service. Then comes one ... mysterious coefficient, which we can denote as MC, and which now in Bulgaria is 1.1, and the obtained PLS, or as income multiplied by PLS, is multiplied by this coefficient and this gives the percentage or amount of the pension. Even — I have grasped also this — exists some social threshold, called minimal pension (MP), which enters in force if the calculated pension turns to be less than this threshold. It can be said that this is one directly brilliant system. And if it is such than it most probably is borrowed from the West. Our democratic development, in the framework of European Union, goes directly in European manner, rejoice gentlemen, as well also ladies (especially when your pension age now is equal with that of the men — an absolute emancipation, directly emanciabsolutization, right?) Perfectly. I have no words. Yet it is better not to live to pension age, as you will understand now. Because .exist a pair of hooks or catches, on which are caught the democratic optimists. Most significant of them are two. The first is that the minimal pension does NOT correspond with the minimal income, not on your nelly, gentlemen! The minimal pension correlates with the average income and is a bit (about 10 percents, yet everything is individual) HIGHER then the average income, this is a social umbrella. It exists even a maximal pension which is not more an umbrella, but a hit on the head (with the handle of the umbrella, I suppose), which enters in effect when one has gained too much and something has to be taken back from him. So that if you are an average worker, with average income, with IC exactly equal to 1, then you will receive 1.1*PLS from your salary (which is equal to the average). Id est if you have worked 20 years, then you wil receive 22% from the average salary, or the minimal, what from both sums is higher. Well, very well, yet there's nothing well in this, as was sung in one song (Russian), because 40 years service this is not 10 and not 20, this is an awful lot of years, there are not many people who live to this, and the young ones simply don't believe that they will live to such age. Some 20 or 25 years is good, and it was so under the totalitarianism, then 20 years sufficed, and now 40 are needed. Enviable social achievement, of course. Well, some may say that it is so also on the West, as with the equal age of pensioning for men and women, too. Yeah, but this is firstly worse than it was under the (bad, don't forget) totalitarianism, and then it is with "national differences". Because if our average person has worked during this awfully long period of 40 years, then he (or she) will receive at best 44% from his salary. And 44% is far away from 70%, how it has to be on the West, and how it was (or at least it was said so) in Bulgaria earlier, under the "people's" democracy, in contrast with our current, definitely, anti-people's one. It was even spoken earlier that about 60% receive such people with big salaries, and those who have smaller, then to them is given close to 80% (for what I can not vouch). So, and now let us look more precisely how much will receive a person if he has worked 40 years, what, as we already said, is pretty much. Well, this will give 44% of the average salary, which in March 2016 was 730 lv, or 320 lv (1 lv = 1/2 euro, for reference). Is 320 lv much or not (it has already, after half an year, become a bit more) is another question; for living in Bulgaria this as if is not a little, when the minimal monthly salary (MMS) is 420 lv in the same time, but here we compare the average with the minimal, what is not correct. And by this incorrectness we have that 320 / 420 = 76% (what would have been good if we have compared average with average, yet by us this is not so), and in addition is given that the average pension in Bulgaria in this time is 340 lv, what means that the average number of pensioners have worked nearly 41 years, in what I, by God, just don't believe! The people, you see, die, little by little, and quite a big number of them live not to pension age, say, a priori, about 15 percents, and then in the first five years of receiving of their pension leave for the other world another 15, if not 20 percents. Only those who exceed 70 years they die gradually. This must be so, when the cards for city transport for pensioners are still pretty expensive, like those for school and university students, somewhere about the half of normal cards, but after 70 they drop at once another 2.5 times (and earlier it was more than 3 times). So that in the best case this average pension of 3/4 of minimal salary is computed for 85% of those who have paid pension contributions nearly 40 years and after 5 years they will remain 70% of all from whom money was transferred to the pension fund. But here also must be some catch — there is no way without this in Bulgaria —, like for example that the average pension is calculated for those who retire by this paragraph, with service of more then 38 years, but there is a way also with less years of service (to what we will come), as well also many people — say, about 15% — can not at all get whatever pension (even 15 years work is not so little), and they either receive some social pensions, or receive nothing at all. So that most probably this average pension concerns roughly half of the pensioners with service more than 38 years, because somewhere is cited that 1/4 of all pensioners receive the minimal pension, and then maybe another 1/4 of them receive pension bigger than the average bur smaller than the maximal. In short, don't you think that our pensioners receive on the average about 3/4 of MMS, what is relatively decent, no, the average pensioner, if we average over all who must receive pension, then he or she will hardly gather more than half MMS, and many others will get significantly less than this (as you will see now). So that let us begin to decrease the years of service, because exactly then it becomes interesting (and tragic, of course — the funniest thing in life is when the others suffer, right?). In my view the average must be about 30 years of service, what also in not a little, and such person will receive 33% from the average salary of the same 730 lv, what gives 240 lv, what is nearly twice less than the minimal salary. And if he has worked 25 years, then he (and surely also she) will have 27.5% or 200 lv, what now is definitely less than half of the MMS. But if he has 20 years of service then his 22% will give 160 lv, and exactly then comes in effect the minimal pension (and for this paragraph), which in March 2016 was 157 lv. In other words, the minimal pension is received with 20 years service, which in the totalitarian years sufficed for receiving of pension and must have given about 80% from the personal salary, but at least 60%. This is now the second important "national peculiarity" — lessening thrice of the minimal pensions in comparison with the bad totalitarian years. Do you begin to grasp a little or still do not? Well, if you don't, then I will add that the media cite somewhere that the minimal salary in ... Africa, and more precisely in the country Gabon turns to be 2.5 times higher than in the (democratic) Bulgaria. Hurray, gentlemen! And let us now laugh (or, as I said, weep) over the situation of such people, like your author, who have barely scraped together 15 years of service for a half pension. Well, there everything falls down, there is another table, and because of this the threshold named minimal pension (and which correlated with the average one) is already (in March 2016) not 157 but 133 lv, what is now 18% from the average salary (of 730 lv in this time), and what can be named super-minimal pension (SMP). If we put this SMP of 133 lv in proportion even to the MMS of 420 lv, then we will get 31%. If you are interested how is it possible to live on 18% of the average income (or just a bit below one third of the minimal one), then this is another matter, I have discussed it in various places, and specially for intellectuals (like me) this is not directly impossible, because they are used to live poor, this is difficult mainly for the common people, but let us not diverge with this here. Let me better explain to you my fundamental error by calculating of my IC, or the next trick of our specialists in social welfare. So it is said that one can choose only three consecutive years from his period of work, and applying the necessary document for the received during this time money, and dividing this money to the total income for this time, from tables, he will get his IC. Well, my IC, of Bulgarian intellectual, with tertiary education (rather with two such educations and a bit more than this), research assistant, turned to be in the chosen by me period 1.28 (and on the average about 1.2), what is quite decent. Yet it is not so, naturally (in Bulgaria nothing is so like it has to be, I think you have already grasped this), because there were three years in the very end of the century when it was allowed to pay alone some payments for the pension fund, and when I have paid something for 2 years and 3 months, but I personally have not worked then and have not required to include them, still, our specialists think that they also have to take part in the calculation of IC. So, and now try to guess what turned my IC to be, ah? Ha, ha, ha, laugh gentlemen, this is terribly funny, because my common IC became 0.943, for the simple reason that during the time when I paid alone contributions it was ... 0.5 (even with one percent less)! So it is, dirty intellectual, it is not enough that you have studied in university twice, but in addition have not at all worked for our national democracy, so that it serves you right! Well, by such IC, and for 16 years service, it comes to about 18% but from already diminished average salary, what gives 123 lv, yet because our Bulgarian democracy cares also for "dirty intellectuals", then I received the minimal pension (on this table) from 133 levs (less then 70 euro, and for a month, not a day). Though it grows a little, so that while I write this material it has become already 137 lv, and it is not excluded that till the end of the year it will become 140 levs. So-o, well, when it is so then your author, as person with mathematical education, decided that it is possible to require recalculation of the pension, not for 16.25 years of service, bur exactly for 15 years (and nearly one month above this) adding only 1999th year from the self insurance, and then his, i.e. my, IC will become 1.082, what is more or less decent, yet because the length of service falls down a little then the total sum grows up to 131 lv, but is still less than 133, so that this recalculation is of purely theoretical interest. It is so, yes, but mark that for smaller length of service in Bulgaria you can get bigger pension! And now, say that we are not a country of paradoxes, ah? So, in short, the pensioning in Bulgaria, for those who have nearly died of working 40 years, gives minimal pension of 80 euro in month, what is 2.5 times less than in Gabon, and average pension (for those half-dead people) of 160 euro, but for those who have worked only 20 years, how it was required under the totalitarianism, the minimal pension is 67 euro, and the average (with the same length of service) is again 80 euro and again for a whole month. And in addition to this now all retire approximately 10 years later than it was under the bad totalitarianism. And the age of retirement grows incessantly and will grow until it reaches 67-68 years (even with 40 years service). And how one 67 years old grandpa or grandma will work 8 hours daily is their own business, right? The democracy gives them the right to accept or to refuse, so that how they want. OK, we have laughed, or have cried, depending on the people, and now let us cast a glance at this how the individually accumulated sums in the pension fund are used. So in the moment the payments only for pension (without sick leave) amount up to 20% from the working salary, roughly speaking, though there were periods when was necessary to pay 30 and more percents, and not from the minimal, but from twice increased one, what had to correspond to the average. Further the calculations are easy, and if you have also an average income, then for 40 years service, by 20%, accumulates in the pension fund as much as you can use for 20 years by 40%. Similarly 30 years by 20% you can use for 20 years by 30, alike also 20 years by 20 gives the same 20 years by 20%. So that if you receive pension for 20 years more everything is more or less justified, but the thing is that we have very low average life expectancy, it is on the average 75 years now, and if you retire on 65 (those with 40 years service retire on 64, and those with 15 on 66, what on the average gives 65), then you live twice less than it was supposed and half of your money remains in the fund or goes to the state. Well, then try to live longer, yes? Exactly this is the main conclusion — the important thing is not the amount of pension but how long you will receive it. So that if you work less then you have more chances to live longer, for you have spent yourself less, like your author. Further, if you alone pay your pension insurance, then you better pay no installments at all, only try to gather somehow the minimal necessary number of years, because if you pay little, then your coefficient falls, and to pay much out of your own pocket is directly unethical and indecent. The pension, anyway, is not for the wealthy, it is for the poor, and however small it was this is better than nothing. Even this super-minimal pension, which I decided to call "zor-zaman" pension (this is Turkish dialect that means "on the off-chance", yet it is not used as adjective, here your author improvises), is better that nothing, and if you have where to live, if you are healthy et cetera, then it is substantial help in your old age. This what is murderous for the pensioners in Bulgaria is not the amount of pension, but the prices on communal expenses and on medicaments, this is what does not correspond with the pension. Because if the pensions by us have fallen 2-3 times in comparison with the totalitarian years, then the communal expenses, such like central heating, electricity, transport, and so on, have grown at least 10 times, also the medicaments at least 5-6 times, also the subsidized food products like bread and milk about three times, like also the entire medical care, which earlier costed nothing, yet it can't be said that was worth nothing. Even with minimal pension but healthy the remaining years can be lived better, than with average one, but with average expenses on doctors and medicaments, or also with maximal, but with maximal such expenses. Due to this it is better not to live to the pension age, because we are the most right-inclined than the wealthy countries, or when we must have the possibly left-oriented capitalism we have the possibly right-oriented, in Bulgaria, in the country of paradoxes. Yet when I have lived to this time, then I can do nothing, right? I will simply try, when I have put for 16 years money in the pension fund, to use my pension at least 16 years, what means to live till 83. Well, a bit much, but not that this is directly impossible. I will try. Not for myself, naturally, but for my readers. Ha, ha. Sep 2016 — — — — — |
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